Safety Roy Williams

Over the weekend, I had read something funny about the former Dallas Cowboys safety Roy Williams.

Over the last few years, certain members of the Dallas media had referred to him as the "thong" - meaning "uncomfortable, and can't cover anything".

You know I hate to dump on former players who leaves my favor team, especially a classy guy like Roy who has done a lot for the community.

But this was too funny not to share, and plus it would be Goddamn Un-American to pass up opportunities to post pictures of women in thongs.

And twins!!

Anyways, good luck to Roy, I hope he catches on somewhere and resurrects his career.

Update: Roy visited the Cincinnati Bengals the other day. No contract offer yet. Oh, by the way, you do not want to Google "Cincinnati Bengals" and "thong". Trust me on this one.

Clumsy, but Funny Cause it's the Giants

Was Dee Brown Back in Town Today?

I had a little excitement on my way home today, as I was stuck in traffic for thirty minutes in Wellesley as the police and the FBI were dealing with a bank robbery and bomb scare.

The Bank of America on route 16 was robbed at gunpoint at 4 P.M., and a suspicious device was left behind at the bank as well as another at the Star Market down the street. The net result was a section of Route 16 (Washington Street) being closed for several hours.

I know I can rule out my friend Danny as a suspect, he would never wear Adidas.

First, I was a little surprised that this happened on Washington Street in Wellesley. There is always traffic on that street from 7 A.M. to 8 P.M., the bridge over Route 9 has been under perpetual repair since the 80's. I don't see how someone can get away cleanly after robbing a bank at 4 P.M. during a weekday.

Second, we know Wellesley's best is always around. They had stopped me three times in the last four years for such offenses as driving with an expired vehicle inspection sticker and driving in the parking lane for 10 yards to get around traffic. Not to mention that unfortunate incident with Dee Brown back in 1990. (This Dee Brown, whom I schooled in a game of Pop-A-Shot at the Ground Round back in 1990. Not mentioned in any subsequent interviews, but it is firmly believed that the humiliating defeat at the Pop-A-Shot game was what drove him to practice harder in his dunking game, and eventually led to him winning the all-star slam dunk contest later that year).

Coming out of work, I had no idea this was happening until 10 minutes into the traffic jam I noticed the award winning general assignment reporter Linda Ergas doing a live update on the side of the road. The first thought that popped into my head was that this can't be a big story, as it's Linda Ergas out there for Christ sake, I'd figured Channel 7 would have their staff ace Sorboni Banerjee on the mound for a big story.

What made it even worse for me today was that right when I was leaving work, a coworker stopped me and asked me for a ride to a repair shop on Route 16 in Newton, so I actually got on Washington Street several miles further to the east as I would normally have.

It's 10 P.M. now and the robbery suspect is still at large. From what we know of Wellesley, the suspect is probably white and driving a vehicle with a valid Massachusetts vehicle inspection sticker.

Thunder Sticks Final

On home soil, USA ousted by Japan

I have to give it up to team Japan. They were able to overcome such obstacles as palms-out-victory-sign-throwing fans and being tens of thousands of kilometers away from their home country (according to Fidel Castro, this would allow managers to make foolish decisions; although Davey Johnson had no problem doing so on his homeland) to earned themselves a date to a orange vs blue thunder stick final.

Despite the beat down they had administered to my team and their stubborn adherence to the metric system, I will be rooting for them to beat the Koreans.

I choose to focus on the beauty and the positives of their culture over my baseball allegiance.

I need to find out where this buffet is

Damn metric system

These guys were pretty awesome back in the day. I had two of their albums.

Update 1: Japan had a 3-2 lead in the bottom of the ninth. Darvish walked 2 in his second relief appearance in two days. After striking out the next two batters, he allowed a game tying single to Bum Ho Lee (ha ha, bum ho). Blown save. We're going to extras. The box score reads Japan with a 12-5 hits advantage, yet the score is tied at 3.

Update 2: Top 10, 2 outs. Runners at the corners, Ichiro at the plate. Runner moved to second, defensive indifference. Holy crap, Ichiro just hit a 2 run double in a 9 pitch battle - he was batting under .100 in the tournament up to tonight. In the championship game, Ichiro goes 4 for 5, with probably the biggest hit in the tournament. Mr. March, Ichiro Suzuki.


Update 3: Darvish just walked the lead off batter again. 2 innings, 2 lead off walks. Okay, Darvish strikes out the next guy. Pop fly, 2 outs! Come on Darvish, I need to go to sleep!

Update 4: Game over! Darvish strikes out Jeong. Team Japan dog piles Ichiro. WBC II championship goes to Japan.

Oh no. Palms in! Palms in!!

This is the sort of muted celebration I expected.

Sex Teacher

School Library Staffer Accused Of Relationship With Student

Okay, he's a "para professional" and the girls soccer coach, and not a teacher.

His mug shot:


Where were the chicks that would bang guys like this when I was in middle school?

Fidel Castro Accuses Team Korea of Pulling a Belichick

Our second favorite Cuban (right behind Ricky Ricardo of course) wrote a nice little essay titled "The Moral Importance of the Baseball Classic".

This essay was written the day before the Cuban national team was eliminated by team Japan, which ended up beating Cuba twice in 3 days. Wait, not just beating - shut them out for 18 innings.

In the essay, the aging dictator rants about the exploitation of athletes by capitalist countries like the United States, and praised the hard work and contributions by the Cubans; he made a point in singling out how the evil American corporations like Major League Baseball have stacked the deck against his Cubans and the Venezuelans.

In essence, the entire essay is just filled with how the forces of evil (the United States) and it's willing allies (Koreans and the Japanese) have ganged up to prevent the people from freely participating in sports and achieve the ultimate goal of athletics, which is health and education.

I know this senile old man is stuck in the 1950's with this rant, but this little gem caught my eye:

"..Korea has invested huge resources in facilities and technologies. On the eve of the last Olympics, when we were forced to adapt to the conditions of a totally different time zone, they treated us splendidly and offered to us, at no cost, their facilities, but at the same time they exhaustively studied every one of our athletes, and took pictures and films of them.

They know every pitching from our pitchers and the reaction by every one of our batters to every pitching. They are the main adversary, because they are also methodical and they bat harder than the Japanese. "

Nice huh? The Koreans were kind enough to let your team use their facilities and you turn around and accused them of cheating. It's pretty clear that Comrade Fidel was hoping that his team would face Japan in the elimination game. Well, he got his wish and didn't work out too well for him. Perhaps soon, he would write an essay accusing the Americans of creating an error-inducing fog that caused the 2 run error by his outfielder Cepeda Frederich.

You think George Steinbrenner and Daniel Snyder are annoying as team owners? They have nothing on this guy.

We'll have to wait another four years now for another chance for Fidel to make excuses for his team's next early exit.

Now a proper sendoff to our brothers in arms in the great struggle of class-conscious proletarians, I give you the English Patient episode of Seinfeld.

March Madness

I have joined Mr Potato Head's March Madness Pick 'em group.

For this year, I have decided that taking responsibility for my own actions and thinking for myself is no longer the way to go; so I will simply follow others in my decision making.

If it doesn't turn out well? I'll just blame the current administration.

That's right. Why go to some Joe Schmo for my picks? I went right to the top.

These clowns better be just as good at picking winners as avoiding taxes.

Update #1 (3/19/2009 - 14:45 EST): The vast right wing conspiracy have defeated both BYU and Butler. 1 out of three. I don't have Butler and BYU going beyond the first round, so no big deal.

Update #2 (3/19/2009 - 19:15 EST): Thank God "Wazzou" won.

Update #2 (3/19/2009 - 21:40 EST): Thanks for the scare Nova.

Update #3 (3/20/2009 - 16:55 EST): I hate you PAC-10. The only one I picked will probably lose to BC.

Stupid Trade Rumors

Another crazy week at the ranch for the Dallas Cowboys.

First, crazy talk from the Denver Post:

Happy trails, Jay Cutler. Have a nice life. Here are three quarterbacks who could make the Broncos a better football team when you're gone:

1) Matthew Stafford, Georgia Bulldogs

2) Brady Quinn, Cleveland Browns

3) Tony Romo, Dallas Cowboys

Let's make a deal.

Are you insane? Romo is in his second year of his $67.5 million contract, which if traded, $9.5 million will count towards the 2009 cap. After cutting T.O., I don't think even Jerry Jones is crazy enough to eat that dead money pie.

Despite the recent Newman-Romo controversy, Romo with the "fuller-figured" Jessica Simpson is still a heck of a lot better than that cry baby Jay Cutler.

One angle on this entire McDaniel-Cutler mess that I haven't seen covered in the media is who the hell leaked the trade attempt for Matt Cassel? My guess is none other than Beli-cheat himself. As much success the hooded one has in his tenure in New England, the Broncos have always seemed to have the Pat's number. Now with this well timed leak, Beli-Cheat have poisoned the well for his rival in the AFC. Well played sir, well played. Pat Bowlen should have his head examined for hiring McDaniel.

Now let's move on to the trade for Julius Peppers. On Monday, reports surfaced all over these Interwebs that Carolina was going to let Peppers come to New England for the 34th pick that Patriots got for Matt Cassel.

That's a hell of a deal for the Pats, and of course, got the fanboys around here in a tizzy. After the dust settled, surprise! Julius Peppers names the Cowboys as being on his wish list of destinations, along with two other "unidentified NFC teams".

Look, it is correct that Peppers is a top notch talent in the peak of his career. I would love to see Peppers come into the new Texas Stadium and replace the perennial unhappy camper Greg Ellis. But really, I would like teams and players to stop using the Cowboys as bargaining chips in negotiation, especially when it comes to the Patriots.

Jones and Kraft will never bid against each other for a free agent - it's simple as that. Why the hell do you think the Cowboys ended up with the Jerk Kicker when Vinatieri was available?

The Patriots may very well end up with Peppers, but the price will be a lot higher than the 34th pick that the fanboys have envisioned. Remember that the Panthers have Peppers franchised, and how much the Vikings had to give up for Jared Allen. It may not be more picks, but certainly the Pats would need to come to the table with more cash (and cap space).

It's funny how people thought what a one year wonder will fetch on the open market vs what they will give up for a 4 time pro bowl defensive end in his prime. look, Al Davis is not running the Panthers, that was once in a lifetime bargain.

The mistake Panthers and Peppers had made was not coming to the market before the big spenders like the Giants and Redskins had blew their wad. Now most likely the Panthers and Peppers will just stay put, it's not that bad making franchise money and he'll still be in his prime next year; hence Carolina will just franchise him again and probably dangle the trade bait earlier in the free agent period.

America! F*@K YEAH!

Team USA walks off with Puerto Rico's bid to the WBC Final Four.

Adios Team Menudo.

Down by two runs at the bottom of the ninth inning, The United States no longer saddled by Pedroia's non hitting, came storming back against the Phillies J.C. Romero.

Two singles and two walks set up David Wright's heroic walk off 2 run single.

Satisfying? Hell yeah, this victory avenged the earlier Jake Peavy mercy rule disasterous loss to this same Puerto Rican team, who were picked to reach the finals after a relatively easy trip thus far in the WBC. Also, I am quite happy to see the person who blew the save was Fernando Cabrera, Red Sox reliever who'll be spending many summers in Pawtucket.

Go ahead, caption this picture - you know you want to.

Japan vs. Korea III? Not quite the nail-biter that was Japan vs. Korea II at the Tokyo Dome. The game was basically over when the hybrid Axis of Evil I & II Yu Darvish let the first three batters reach and score in the first inning.

This was good because I don't have to stay up until 3 to watch the entire game. The bad? Yu Darvish is a good young pitcher. He settled down nicely after the disastrous first, and pitched well for 3 innings. Until Japan solves Korean starter Jung Keun Bong - they're not going to win the WBC.

This is worth a mention. Team Korea definately has the most 3rd grade giggle inducing names in the World Baseball Classic - Jung Keun Bong and Bum Ho Lee. Long Duk Dong just missed the roster cut due to tendenitious in his elbow.

Who Can it Be?

Skip Bayless made a guess years ago.

"Dallas Cowboys: Around 8:55 this morning, Barrett Long, an a male adult film actor, was on Howard Stern. He admitted to accepting oral from males for cash when times were rough, but insisted that he’s straight. He also said a member of the Dallas Cowboys once went down on him. Refused to mention the player’s name. Artie Lange instantly yelled “Tony Romo!” but Long denied it was him. Then Long asked about Emmitt Smith, to which Long also said no. It almost sounded like Long recanted the whole thing when Artie asked about Michael Irvin, but we’re not 100 percent sure if he was kidding or not."

Not Romo, nor Emmit.

Michael Irvin? Doubtful, this was a guy described by people in the organization as having a "pussy problem".

I want to guess Aikman, but that's too obvious, and Skip Bayless is rarely right.

I am guessing Alvin "Freaky Harp" Harper.

Why? I think Alvin just ran out of freaky things to do with chicks, if Alvin Harper is the Dallas Cowboy in question here.



My Next guess is Quincy Carter. I'll just post this picture and let you decide for yourself.

Pacman Jones

Fresh off of his staged fight on "Joes vs. Pros", Pacman goes old school at his former teammate Marcus Spears' birthday bash.

According to the source, “Jones made it rain with dollar bills.”

Said the source: “All the other players there thought he was a complete idiot for doing it. It was a upscale bar/restaurant and he acted like it was a cheap Atlanta strip club...

The party was put on by PartyChaser.com. Let's check out the eFlyer for this party (make sure you have your speakers turned on).

I have to defend Adam Jones here, the voice on the eFlyer is the DJ voice in every adult entertainment club in America.

"Gentlemen, let's welcome Lexus on the main stage, Lexus. For the next 6 songs, all lap dances are two for one."

How can you NOT try to make it rain after hearing that voice?!

Jeez, and people get mad at Adam because he showed up uninvited with a bag of dollar bills. Come on man, the brother can't drink anymore, you got to let him at least have some fun.


Just came across this:



I can't stop laughing at these Hitler videos. I wonder if that retard will go on and post a comment about how "it's not funny if you understand German and realize that he's not really complaining about T.O."

Dodged a Bullet This Morning

I was pulled over on my way to work this morning for an expired vehicle inspection sticker.

In case you are wondering, this is not me. I would never wear baby blue with pink. That's so ghastly

What is the vehicle inspection system in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts? Let's take a look at the official Vehicle Check web site.


"Why do we test?
Emissions: Vehicle engines and air pollution
Safety"

Dear lord, that sounds important right? I mean for the safety of our roads, and the clean air we need to breath. Thank God we have elected smart leaders to protect us.

But let's be honest here. No new vehicles sold in Massachusetts, or the United States in fact, is likely to fail any of these tests in the first 4 years of ownership. Will that exempt the owners of these vehicles from shelling out $29 annually, starting from year one, for the pleasure of owning a vehicle in Massachusetts?

Not a chance. Bend over and pay up. Not to mention the time I need to wait for the inspection where they make sure that my horn still works.

But JM, as cars get older, or if the cars were made before 1996 - they don't run as clean as we like them to. Don't you want to protect our children from acid rain? Yeah it's true, the older cars are not as efficient in cleaning up their emissions. It would make sense to start the emissions test after the cars reached a certain age, but think of the lost revenue if they decide to do something sensible as that. Oh yeah, cars made before 1996 are not inspected by the new emissions test, guess it's not that important to stop all them evil pollutants.

Guess who else is exempt? All those nice T buses that pump out the nice black smoke as they rumble by you in the city. Come on, if they have to spend all that money to make sure the buses run clean, they would have no money left over to pay all the idiot sons, daughters, and mistresses of the idiot politicians.

Really, I would be much happier if the idiotic politicians in this commonwealth would come out and just admit to us that this is a tax, a fee, or whatever you like to call it. Just don't insult our intelligence and tell us it's for "our safety".

In my tax revolt against the Commonwealth, I try to push the inspection out as far as I can every year. Picking up free months by driving on an expired sticker. I was 2 months away from getting that free year. Hey, if I can master this art of evading taxes, there might be a spot for me on the Obama administration.


I got away with a written warning this morning, by promising Wellesley's finest that I would take care of it as soon as possible. Maybe I'll get it inspected next Tuesday - I heard that it's a holiday, oh wait, I don't get Evacuation Day off from work.

I am being rather harsh here on our local government. To be fair, we are getting a little better. In this past election, the fine folks in the Second Suffolk District did elect the smokin' hot Sonia Chang-Diaz over the corrupt busted mug Diane Wilkerson for State Senate.


I am encouraging Mr. Potato Head to actively court this young lady, so when they get married, she would change her name to Sonia Chang-Diaz-Chan. That would be cool.

Update:
After 40 minutes of my life and $29 that I will never get back, my car is deemed once again safe and clean by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

This is really a down year for me, as I was only able to pick up 1 free month. After six years of owning my car, I am merely one month away from picking up that free year.


Now I can go ahead and remove my catalytic converter off of my exhaust system and attend to my back yard tire fire. Why? because I am goddamn sick and tired of the environment freeloading off of my hard work.

MLB 09 the Show Commercial Proves True

Normally I would be pretty giddy over Dustin's 3 game, .125 batting average, but not when he's playing on Captain America's team. Christ, I don't think they were all high inside pitches either.

OVER-RATED!

Cowboys Update

I am going to take a little break from my 24/7 coverage of the World Baseball Classic here and report an update on the signing of Igor "Ukraine NOT WEAK!" Olshansky.

I am hoping that he does well as a Cowboy, and maybe I will throwout my copy of the workout book written by T.O. and buy some of Igor's MEGA PRODUCTS.

I will now counter the gayness (although there is nothing wrong with that) of posting a picture if a half naked muscle dude, by posting these following pictures:

Happy Super Terrific Hour!

Alison Carroll as Lara Croft

Dutch Boys Knock Out Team Short Stops

" There are only two things I can't stand in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures... and the Dutch."

- Nigel Powers

The Dominican Republic was upset for the second time in one week by the Dutch squad.

The early exit came in the most unexpected fashion. The Dominican Republic, with three Major League short stops on its roster (apparently they needed one more) , lost the game in 11 innings on an infield error by Willy Aybar (the defensive replacement for David Ortiz).

The 11th inning started with the Jose Reyes scoring the game's first run to take a 1-0 lead. Netherlands comes right back and ties the game 1-1. With a runner at first base, two costly errors by the Dominican Republic infielders who aren't short stops, allow the runner to advance to third and score the winning run.

Alright, I may be a little bit unfair in that last paragraph. One of the errors was the pitcher (well, he's technically also an infielder) throwing the ball away on a pick off, and Hanley Remirez was the DH, and hence not on the field. Robinson Cano was playing second base.

Still, this has to be a painful exit. Favored to take it all and not even getting out of the first round. I attribute this to the baseball gods punishing them for lying about their age.

Big Q, I want the truth. You had money on the D.R. winning this game, didn't you.

Canada Gets Bounced From WBC

Two days after North America's team signed Terrell Owens, Canada gets bounced from the World Baseball Classic. This was somewhat of a surprise, as the Canadians looked pretty good against the Americans, and they were expected to get past Italy and possibly challenge / knock off Venezuela.

Sunday and Monday has not been kind to the host nations. First, the favored Mexican team was upset by Australia; not enough just to lose in front of the home crowd - they were embarrassed in a game called after 8 innings by mercy rule. 8 Mexican pitchers combined to give up a WBC record 22 hits and 17 runs. I think they might even have brought in a couple of ball boys to toss a couple of innings. Mexico is really in bad shape here, they are forced to play an elimination game against South Africa with a depleted bullpen.

Sixth inning call to the bullpen."Yeah, I'm almost ready."

Monday morning started off with me waking up to see Japan losing the top spot in Pool A to Korea in a pitchers' dual. This game was what I was expecting out of Asia's top two squads, but I am somewhat confused about the scheduling of this game. I had thought the format of pool play in this tournament was double elimination, and in double elimination formats - the team advancing from the losers' bracket must beat the winners' bracket team twice to take the top spot. Maybe I am just being selfish, hoping DiceK blows out his arm before the MLB season.

Monday evening saw Don Cherry and his awesome outfit throw out the first pitch at the Sky Dome in Toronto, then saw the no name Italians make spaghetti O's out of our neighbors to the north.

I know I am going to disappoint some of you people, I do not have any new updates on the state of Taiwanese baseball. As far as I know, no one has been machine gunned while standing outside making a phone call. Yet.

However, I did do a quick search on the Chinese American short stop Raymond Chang. This Fort Wayne Baseball site has a nice article about him. I'll be cheering for this kid to make it to the bigs.

Update: Mexico has pulled ahead of South Africa 6-2, in the top of the seventh. El Tri proceeded to give back one run in the bottom of the frame. Mexico has used 3 pitchers thus far (the starter did his part, pitched 6 strong innings giving up only 2 runs), they are praying that their bullpen can hold up. Or maybe they're pulling a Team Korea strategy, tanking early and winning the last game for the pool.

Okay USA!

Team USA clinches an automatic bid to the second round of the World Baseball Classic tonight by trouncing Venezuela 15-6.

This is something you don't see everyday

The U.S. team overcame a 3-2 deficit and a 1 for 6 performance by the American League reigning MVP Dustin Pedroia by putting the game out of reach with an 8 run sixth inning.

I am happy with this result for a couple of reasons. One, it's team USA. Two, the win comes at the expense of Venezuela. Yes, I will concede that they have the hottest women on the planet, but they also have that nut job Hugo Chavez, who along with Massachusetts' Joe Kennedy, are probably the two finalists in the regionals of the anti-American Kumite.

Both Adam Dunn and Kevin Youkilis homered for the Americans second game in a row, and Chris Iannetta along with DeRosa contributed with key RBI hits, blew open a close 3-2 contest.

Much of the credit should go to the American bats, but after the Venezuelan starter Armando Galarraga was chased after four innings, the Venezuelan bullpen didn't have an answer for the American firepower.

The fallout continues in Taiwan over their quick exit from the WBC.

A little personal note here, the senior commentator Fu Da-jen quoted in the article above, was the MC at our wedding in Taiwan. Now I think back, that was pretty cool. I wish I knew ahead of time that he is famous in Taiwan for broadcasting NBA games, hell, I would of had him pimp our entrance into the wedding reception. Maybe some sort of Jabbawockeez intro a la the All Star game or maybe, or something simpler like "At point guard, 5'-6" from Nooooooortheastern.."; or even better - I could have thrown talcum powder into the air instead of toasting people.

Damn, the Marv Albert of Taiwan was the MC at my wedding, and I failed to capitalize on it. I suck.

There is NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!

Team Boli Stunned by Netherlands

Team Netherlands upset the heavily favored Dominican Republic 3-2.

Ouch. This has to be the biggest upset thus far in the short history of the WBC. Winning pitcher for the Netherlands? Fat Sid.

The other surprise in WBC action today is Japan's rout of South Korea. Team Japan winning was not that much of a surprise, but the final score was. The game ended in seven innings, due to the newly instituted mercy rule (15 runs after 5 and 10 runs after 7).

Pundits in Japan was questioning the strength of the Japanese team, as they only beat the fourth seeded team China by a score of 4-0. Coming into this tournament, fresh off of their gold medal in the Beijing Olympics, team Korea was actually the favorite.

Mercy rule loss. I think I owe Chinese Taipei an apology, they're not the most gutless team in this tournament. Oh wait, they lost to China last night. Never mind.

Speaking of Chinese Crap-Pei, their fans are not taking the failure at the WBC very well. A couple of the baseball web bulletin boards had to shut down today, due to the threats of violence and use profanity towards the national team. Words like "embarrassment" and "national shame" were being tossed around, and those were the ones they can print in the newspapers. People have called for the ouster of the president as well as the management of the national baseball team.

That sounds about right. Let's see, the mainlanders started playing baseball, what, 6 years ago? and Taiwan is the only team they have beaten (twice in a row now) in international competition.

Chinese Taipei's stay in the World Baseball Classic was 21 hours. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on if they were planning on using it as an excuse) they didn't have to travel across time zones; hell, they probably didn't even need a hotel - they could have just kept their luggage in one of those airport lockers.

In the latest news from Taiwan, there are several legislators calling for new special tax incentives for corporate sponsored baseball teams. Wow, I guess they really care about their baseball.

This chick looks pissed.

I am placing the blame for the losses completely on this chick with the overused palms out victory sign

Chinese Crap-Pei Routed by South Korea

Final score: South Korea 9, Chinese Taipei 0.

This follows China being blanked by defending WBC Champion Japan 4-0 on Thursday morning.

With 1/5th of the World's population, they can't find one guy to score in the World Baseball Classic.

The two Chinese sides are currently playing an elimination game, where the winner gets the right to be spanked by South Korea or Japan again.

My Korean American friend, whom I shall only identify as "BALCO", was pretty giddy over these events.

I have one answer for you Balco, wait until the World Ping-pong classic, we'll see who's ass is getting beat.

Update: The People's baseball team used a combination of strong people's pitching and timely people's hitting, triumphed over the capitalist pigs of Taiwan, 4-1.

The shortstop for team China, Raymond Chang, is an American. Born in Kansas and is currently in the Pittsburgh Pirates farm system.

Despite his questionable practice of looking like Julian Tavarez in his WBC profile picture, had himself a big day at the plate - 3 for 4 and 2 RBI's.

I am taking comfort in the fact that Team China has two farmhands from the Yankees, and Taipei has two from the Red Sox. So this is in effect win number one for the Yankees.

I will leave you all with the immortal words of Tom Tuttle from Tacoma, Washington.

Ukraine is Game to You?

Dallas is looking at Igor Olshansky formerly of the San Diego Chargers to replace Canty at the Defensive End spot.

Matt Mosley of ESPN.com has this to say:

"Olshansky would challenge Jason Hatcher and Stephen Bowen to replace Chris Canty at defensive end. He also fits the team's desire to sign more players from the former Soviet Union."

Wise ass.

Looking at Mr. Olshansky's profile, he is in fact from the former Soviet Union - more specifically, the Ukraine.

Of course, that calls for the obligatory Seinfeld reference.