Take that Philly!

What a glorious week in sports.

In the span of seven days, three of the teams that I cheer for, have gone into Philadelphia and left with their Philly counter part bleeding from their anus.

First up, the Boston Celtics.

Celtics 105 - Sixers 74. Sixth man Sheed puts up 20, thanks for playing Sixers.

Next up, the New York Yankees.

This was a two-fer.. The Yanks took two out of three at Philly, dismantling last year's World Series MVP Cole Hamels in the process, and making Philly fans sweat it out til the last Yankee batter in their only gimme win at home.

The best part you ask? Taking the series and the world championship at home, by having Gozilla reminding Pedro "still pitching to honor the Red Sox Nation even though their team were eliminated weeks ago" Martinez who is still his daddy.


Last but not least, the Cowboys - avenging their humiliating defeat from a season ago, wrestling first place in the NFC East away from the Eagles, crushing the hopes of Philadelphia sports fans who are still crying from their failure of defending their World Series Championship.


Three for three. Good week. I am a happy man.

Karma is a Bitch Phillies

Phillies' center fielder Shane Victorino was doused by a full cup of beer as he was catching a fly ball during Phillies 12-5 victory over the Cubs on Wednesday night.

While I like Flying Hawaiian as a player, and thinks this type of fan behavior is deplorable (full fucking cup of ball park beer? in this economy?!), I can't help but feeling happy that a Philadelphia player is on the receiving end of an asshole fan action.

Why am I happy? As a Dallas Cowboys fan, I have witness over the years the bad behavior from Philadelphia sports fans. Every Cowboys game at the old Vet was an orgy of drunk fans throwing everything that was nailed down at the visitors - from batteries to snowballs, sometimes snowballs with batteries rained down onto the field.

The City of Brotherly Love was also home to the coach Buddy Ryan who once famously placed a bounty on the Cowboys kicker and Troy Aikman and remarked "hey, if there is snow on the stands, people will throw snowballs" when asked about the unruly Phillie fans.

This was also the place where Michael Irvin lay motionless on the shitty Veteran Stadium astroturf, with a possibility of permanent paralysis, and the fans cheered.

I can go on for days about the bad Philadelphia sports fans, but I won't. I'll just let Google do the work.

Gutter whores, all of them.

Let's go back to this beer throwing Chicago fan. I heard on ESPN radio that another Cubs fan (coincidentally who looked like Steve Bartman) was mistaken as the beer thrower, and he was roughed up by some of the Phillie fans sitting around him; while the real beer assassin bolted from the stadium. With the release of the footage of the incident, and Victorino's complaint with the CPD, the real assailant turned himself in.

What a sucker, I would have taken my chances with the cops not finding me. Come on, the CPD couldn't even find the one arm killer dude for almost a year, Harrison Ford had to do all the legwork for them.

Chicago fans are no angels either. Who can forget this incident? Warms my heart to see a shirtless drunk father and son team working together.

Okay, enough about the bad Philadelphia and Chicago fans. The most famous beer (or what M.L. Carr called "unidentified liquid, definitely not beer) toss in my mind, was the cup that was thrown at M.L. Carr as he was walking into the tunnel of the L.A. Forum after the Celtics game 6 victory in the 1984 NBA finals.

This act so enraged Maxwell that he told DJ: "Let's kill them on Tuesday. Let's kill those freaks."

The rest, as they say - was history.

Kick to the Groin

Its been more than two weeks, and I am still trying to recover from watching the Dallas Cowboys bring their big jumbo bag of FAIL up to Philadelphia.

For those of you who have not been following the NFL this past year, the Dallas Cowboys were one of the teams favored to win the Superbowl at the beginning of season. But thanks to undisciplined play, poor coaching, and untimely injuries - the Cowboys found themselves in a situation where they must win their final game to advance to the playoffs.

Against Philadelphia.

In Philadelphia.

For those of us who followed the Cowboys throughout the years, knows that winning at Philadelphia is never easy. Over the last few decades, these two teams always played hard against each other; it didn't matter if the division lead was on the line, or if either or both teams were out of it - it has always been a war. Why? because these teams simply hate each other.

For this match up, there is an added bonus, the loser goes home for the winter. A one game playoff, a chance to stick it to the other team and finish their 2008 season. If memory serves correct, the last time these two teams faced off in a game like this was the 1980 NFC Championship game (which I watched in the T.V. department at Sears - that's another post for another day).

So with all that's at stake - one would reasonably believe that my beloved Cowboys would be prepared and ready to sock it to the Eagles.

Nope, not these guys.

A week after giving up the longest two TD runs by an opposing team in Texas Stadium history, in painfully obvious, even a 5 year old can see "run up the middle" situations; the Cowboys decides to top that stinker with a 44-6 no show effort.

Watching the game was painful. Knowing that stupid Philadelphia fans are happy made it even worse. Why do I not Philadelphia fans? Here are few reasons:

• They pelted Santa with snowballs.
• They behave so badly that prompted the city to build a court room and a jail right in the stadium.
• They support a team who was the subject of a MarkyMark movie.
• They support a team that shares the mascot name with an overrated college; who could not win the 2008 Lord of the Gays bowl, and can't beat Harvard in basketball.
  
• They kill puppies and use the corpse for bonfires at tailgate parties. * Citation needed.
  

As much fun it is to point out why the average Philadelphia sports fan is worst than Hitler and their women are all a bunch of gutter whores; I must place the blame for the Cowboys' debacle of a season squarely in the lap of the same Cowboys.

Dallas Morning News columnist Jean-Jaques Taylor accurately described in his write-up of the final game that the 2008 Dallas Cowboys is "the most gutless team in franchise history". He goes on to list the gory details of another 1-3 December finish, and questions the "get tough" pledge that Wade Phillips has promised for his continue employment in 2009.

How do I think it'll work out? Let take a look at the video from the Cowboys safety Keith Davis' birthday party, the day AFTER the lost at the Linc. Yes, you read that correctly, the very day after.

Tearful defense from T.O. for his coach? nope. Look at the smirks on the faces of the players 2:20 into the video when Taylor asked about Phillips' "get tough" promise. Yeah, that's how I think it'll work out too.

The Pain Continues

We now sit just days away from the Conference Championships - and the Eagles have managed to win two playoff games on the road; beating the top seeded Giants in the process. While their fans celebrate wildly, poking fun of the fallen Giants; I am laying all my hopes on Kurt Warner and Baby Jesus to smite the Philistines.