McFilthy Signs With the Redskins

The Foreskins sign both the cheap shot artist Albert Haynesworth and the perennial victim DeAngelo Hall.

It's going to be a fun 2009.







Other NFC East News

Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Hank Baskett's fiance Kendra Wilkinson was out doing radio to promote the last episode of "Girls Next Door".

The former playboy playmate and Hef's (probably many others') sloppy seconds will be getting her own reality show where she will share her wedding preparation with the audience.

Yeah.. that could be interesting, if you're into that sort of things.

Anyways, here is the links and the summary of her interview(s).

I Also Have a Dream

This has been a very exciting off season for my Dallas Cowboys. First, it was the end of the PacMan Jones era, then the rumors of possibly acquiring God’s linebacker Ray-Ray; then to top them all – Hall of Fame wide receiver Michael Irvin will be producing a reality show to find the 80th man for the upcoming 2009 Cowboys training camp.

The Hall of Fame wide receiver is launching a reality TV show in which 12 "football neophytes" will compete for an impressive grand prize: a spot on the Dallas Cowboys' training-camp roster.

"I don't know if you can walk upon any group of guys that wouldn't say they dreamed of playing in the NFL when they were playing in their front yard," Irvin told The Associated Press on Thursday. "So we're going to take a group of guys from their front yard, dwindle them to one and give that guy the opportunity of a lifetime."

Oh hell yeah, I finally have a shot at realizing my childhood dream of playing for the Cowboys, to wear number 40 and cleaning the clock of some hotshot Redskins rookie returning his first NFL punt; and my adulthood dream of going to a strip club with $81,020 in "visual effects" and "making it rain".

Let's take a look at the requirements:

• Football neophyte? Check.
• They likely will need a football background -- just not too much. Okay, I may have to understate a couple of those 2 point conversions I get playing coed flag football; they don't have to know the whole truth.
• They also must be the right age, size and condition to handle an NFL training camp. Bill Parcells camp, no. We all saw how Wade ran his "Camp Cupcake" last Summer on HBO's School of Hard Knocks; I think an average male who goes to the gym twice a week can survive that camp.

I know the inevitable comparison here is Marky Mark's horrible 2006 movie - Invincible; which I do not think really applies here. Sure, Invincible tells of a alleged true story of a down-on-his-luck Philadelphia school teacher, going to a publicity stunt open tryout, beating the odds and making the roster of his life long favorite team - the Eagles.

Sure at first glance, there are several similarities between the new Michael Irvin's new reality show and the open tryout the Eagles held in 1976; both are publicity stunts, and both undoubtedly had/will attract a lot of people who will give one more shot at realizing a dream. But let's face it - trying out for the Dallas Cowboys, with their five Vince Lombardi trophies is a lot different than trying out for the no Superbowl winning Eagles.

Hollywood, however, loved the story of Vince Papale. Of course with many of these "true" stories, they like to embellish it to make it more interesting, to the point that it is no longer believable.

For one thing, who in their right mind would believe a life long Philadelphia Eagles fan is literate and can legally be within 500 feet of a school?

Second, the female lead and the female supporting actresses are way hotter than any woman I have seen coming out of the sewer that is the Philadelphia sports scene. Lola Glaudini (some of you may remember her as the hot FBI agent on the Sopranos) plays Vince's wife, who leaves him when Vince got laid off from his substitute teaching job. Lady, you married a substitute teacher from South Philadelphia, what did you expect? Caviar at every meal?

After the obligatory furniture smashing and self pity scene, Vince returns to his part time job as a bartender at his buddy's watering hole; where he meets his other love interest - Elizabeth Banks. We are shown that this girl is perfect in every way, smart, beautiful, out going, knowledgeable about sports; except she is a Giants fan.

Now my dear readers, I would leave to you to decide who is more deserving of the punishment, a wife that leaves you when you are down and out, or a girl friend who is a Giants fan.

Okay, at this point let's take stock of how "horrible" Vince Papale's life is: he gets laid off from his teaching job (school systems in South Philly? it's a good thing) and Lola Glaudini walks out on him (bad. She is hot). Then he gets more time to work at his friend's bar and meets Elizabeth Banks. Let see, getting paid to drink with your friends all day, working with a hot girl friend. Right - he's hit rock bottom.

Of course like all Hollywood version of a happy story, our love birds enjoys a few witty jabs back and forth, hold hands, Vince makes the team, blah blah blah.. ever happily after.

Alright, enough talk about the Funky Bunch's crapfest move and back to my dream. Realistically speaking (because Michael Irvin's show is a reality show, and we all know everything that happens on a reality show is exactly how it would have happened without all the cameras and directions from the production company), I should just aim to not be the green-caped fat guy in the tryout scene from Invincible. but hey, this is my dream.

After I make the team, I am optioning my story to Hollywood under the condition that Jet Li will play me in the movie.

Kick to the Groin

Its been more than two weeks, and I am still trying to recover from watching the Dallas Cowboys bring their big jumbo bag of FAIL up to Philadelphia.

For those of you who have not been following the NFL this past year, the Dallas Cowboys were one of the teams favored to win the Superbowl at the beginning of season. But thanks to undisciplined play, poor coaching, and untimely injuries - the Cowboys found themselves in a situation where they must win their final game to advance to the playoffs.

Against Philadelphia.

In Philadelphia.

For those of us who followed the Cowboys throughout the years, knows that winning at Philadelphia is never easy. Over the last few decades, these two teams always played hard against each other; it didn't matter if the division lead was on the line, or if either or both teams were out of it - it has always been a war. Why? because these teams simply hate each other.

For this match up, there is an added bonus, the loser goes home for the winter. A one game playoff, a chance to stick it to the other team and finish their 2008 season. If memory serves correct, the last time these two teams faced off in a game like this was the 1980 NFC Championship game (which I watched in the T.V. department at Sears - that's another post for another day).

So with all that's at stake - one would reasonably believe that my beloved Cowboys would be prepared and ready to sock it to the Eagles.

Nope, not these guys.

A week after giving up the longest two TD runs by an opposing team in Texas Stadium history, in painfully obvious, even a 5 year old can see "run up the middle" situations; the Cowboys decides to top that stinker with a 44-6 no show effort.

Watching the game was painful. Knowing that stupid Philadelphia fans are happy made it even worse. Why do I not Philadelphia fans? Here are few reasons:

• They pelted Santa with snowballs.
• They behave so badly that prompted the city to build a court room and a jail right in the stadium.
• They support a team who was the subject of a MarkyMark movie.
• They support a team that shares the mascot name with an overrated college; who could not win the 2008 Lord of the Gays bowl, and can't beat Harvard in basketball.
  
• They kill puppies and use the corpse for bonfires at tailgate parties. * Citation needed.
  

As much fun it is to point out why the average Philadelphia sports fan is worst than Hitler and their women are all a bunch of gutter whores; I must place the blame for the Cowboys' debacle of a season squarely in the lap of the same Cowboys.

Dallas Morning News columnist Jean-Jaques Taylor accurately described in his write-up of the final game that the 2008 Dallas Cowboys is "the most gutless team in franchise history". He goes on to list the gory details of another 1-3 December finish, and questions the "get tough" pledge that Wade Phillips has promised for his continue employment in 2009.

How do I think it'll work out? Let take a look at the video from the Cowboys safety Keith Davis' birthday party, the day AFTER the lost at the Linc. Yes, you read that correctly, the very day after.

Tearful defense from T.O. for his coach? nope. Look at the smirks on the faces of the players 2:20 into the video when Taylor asked about Phillips' "get tough" promise. Yeah, that's how I think it'll work out too.

The Pain Continues

We now sit just days away from the Conference Championships - and the Eagles have managed to win two playoff games on the road; beating the top seeded Giants in the process. While their fans celebrate wildly, poking fun of the fallen Giants; I am laying all my hopes on Kurt Warner and Baby Jesus to smite the Philistines.