Mile High Pimpin'

I had to travel to Denver last week for what turned out to be a fun and educational week.

I stayed at the Hotel Monaco, in Downtown Denver. Instead of going to the usual comedy goldmine tripadvisor.com for hotel review funnies, I found the laughter right in the closet of my room.

Upon arriving Sunday evening, and spending an uneventful meal at the Rock Bottom restaurant - I turned in early. Micro brews always gives me a headache and makes me tired.

Woke up very early Monday morning (still living on East Coast time), went to the closet to get the iron for my cloths and I was greeted by this:


Yes, leopard skin patterned his and hers robes. A closer look:


After my eyeballs stopped hurting, I decided to take some pictures. Upon closer inspection, there were ladies camisole and shorts for sale in the closet:


They had a sign around it informing me that the camisole and shorts are "Not Complementary" and they are in fact for sale at $30 a piece. I don't know how people in Denver roll, but if I find under garments hanging in a closet at a hotel, my first instinct is not to wear it. That may just be me.

After conferring with my coworkers over breakfast and confirming that they had the same things in their closet, and that I didn't mistakenly checked into some safari drag queen fantasy suite (not that there is anything wrong with that); I felt a bit better. Although I am in a city that idolized Jay Cutler - you just never know. After finding out that there is a free happy hour at the hotel lounge every evening, I briefly contemplated with the idea of rocking this robe to Monday's happy hour.

I eventually decided against the idea because:

• This is a work trip, in this economic climate I should be on my best behavior. Although by rocking this robe I would have a strong case for sexual preference discrimination if somehow I was to be disciplined.
  
• I don't think the ladies of Denver can handle this pimp-a-licious robe.

Overall, this hotel was pretty nice. Free hour of booze and appetizers every night (my only complaint is that they only had wine everyday except Tuesday, where they had free Coronas for Cinco de Mayo) is a nice selling point.

They also had this on the desk:

Yep, that's a fish bowl with a single gold fish in it. The sign you see in front of the bowl informed me that the hotel has specialized staff to take care of the fish and I should not feed it, along with a bunch of other nagging tips on how to keep the fish comfortable. I thought about messing with the staff by hiding the fish and leaving a hand written note - "out of sushi, please refill!!".

That would probably get me in some hot water with the PETA folks, but hey, what can they do to me? this is a city that let Kobe get away with rape for Christ sake. But of course, after a few days of free wine and apps, I got lazy and forgot about it.

That was the first two days of the trip, I'll post more about my later adventures in the City of Denver in the upcoming days.